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Get bpd ex girlfriend back

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Did you take her back? Big mistake huh? Im divorcing a BP female. We have a 3 year old too. They cant change She will eat you for dinner with ease.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Feeling misunderstood by your BPD ex?

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How to get back my Bpd ex

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NicolaMethod gmail. Even if this woman does not qualify for the diagnosis of this condition, chances are she has great difficulty establishing trust with those she is close to. If you are like most people, you may have failed to realize she had this very real problem until you let your guard down with her, expecting her to do the same. She may have at first disclosed her deepest secrets to you and may also have gotten you to tell her things you had never told anyone before.

This powerful connection may have led you to believe you had found your best friend or even your soul mate. After enough of these incidents you probably realized out that each time she got it in her head that you had betrayed her in some way, the memory of every good deed you had ever done for her was erased. If you did finally manage to convince her otherwise, you may have found that something would always happen that would set off her distrust again.

We found out she is much more sensitive to the humiliation that accompanies rejection than the average person and that she often chooses not to trust rather than leave herself open to being hurt. In Part 2 of this series you are going to find out that although it may seem as though these women are incapable of trusting those they are close to, there is a way to get behind their defenses so you can win their trust.

In order to see how easy it is to overcome distrust in women with traits of BPD, you may first need to take a look at the world through her eyes, the eyes of someone who experiences much more emotional pain in their relationships with others than the average person. The truth is, as human beings we are not completely reliable to those we are closest to.

We are not robots. We are human. And as evolved as we may think we are, we have instincts and emotions that can override even our best intentions. This is often easily done with the people in our outer circles. But the ones we share the majority of our time with are likely to see us at our worst.

As hard as we may try, when we are around the same people day in and day out, eventually we do slip up. We may use a harsh word, give an unnecessary criticism, experience a lapse in our usual good will or make a behind the scenes decision to take more than our share.

Although these are very minor in the scheme of things, they fall under the category of a betrayal of trust for those we care about. Even though most of us consider these minor acts of betrayal a normal part of life, the woman with traits of BPD does not. She feels terrible hurt and betrayal when we stop taking her needs into consideration for even a moment.

Because most woman with traits of BPD were born with this high sensitivity to the negative behaviors of others, she will have built up a lifetime of slights and hurts over matters that most of us forget about in an instant. When we look at our behavior through the eyes of the woman with traits of BPD, we see that we have done nothing wrong.

Simply based on the fact that we are human we will be causing her great pain on a regular basis. And because she will have been hurt by countless other people before us, she will probably resort to protecting herself from this pain by choosing to distrust us before we can do anything that hurts her. Whether you are just her friend or in a romantic relationship, when you ask her to trust you are actually asking her to agree to set herself up for what she would consider a blindside.

And although she may have acted like she was ready for a deep connection, she will most certainly end up accusing you of things you would never do. This is her way of making sure she never has to trust you enough to get hurt.

The woman with traits of BPD usually cannot enter a relationship without an initial phase of idealization. During this phase she convinces herself that you are not like all the others who have hurt her. Many people find themselves taken in by this idealization phase. When they fall from their pedestal they often fall very hard. The key to getting a woman with traits of BPD to trust you lies in your understanding of what makes her tick.

It is this understanding that will bridge the gap between your perception of trust and hers. Once you understand how she is interpreting your behavior, her extreme reaction will make sense to you.

The formula you will be following is very specific. You will be following it each time you lose the trust of a woman with traits of BPD. In order to reestablish trust, all you need to do is:.

This simple process can take less than a minute and it can save you days, weeks or months of work trying to get back into her good graces. You will need to be able to state on a very detailed level what kind of betrayal the woman with traits of BPD suspects in order for her to feel you truly understand.

In order to get down to this level of detail, you may need to accept that the woman with traits of BPD will always be on the lookout for behavior on your part that could lead to you either rejecting her or trying to control or dominate her. Once you identify why your behavior raised the red flag of doubt for her, you will have all the information you need to easily convince her that you had no intention to hurt her. In order to learn to recognize the signals you put out that to her spell betrayal, you must learn the way she thinks.

It will always be what she fears are your intentions behind the actions. Her interpretation of your behavior may seem almost paranoid. However, this is exactly the perspective you will need to understand her accusations and immediately clear them up. If you look at your actions from the point of view of a woman who is very afraid she will be rejected or controlled, you will easily be able to identify her fear behind her defensive anger and accusations.

It is this fear that you will be addressing, not your behavior. So that you can begin to understand what kind of behaviors create distrust in a woman with traits of BPD, here are a few examples of common behaviors that cause these women to see red flags:.

If you are not very careful to let her know you heard her point of view before launching into your own, she may fear that you are trying to control her by acting like your opinion is the one that counts. This can easily make her fear you are about to start a new friendship or relationship and drop her.

In order for her not to face the humiliation that accompanies this fear, she may use anger and accusations to push you away. This can cause her to fear that you are entering into a power struggle with her which you are going to try to win.

Her mistaken belief that you are trying to control her can make her push back twice as hard. There are many more types of behaviors that can trigger her distrust. Our first response to a false accusation will usually be to proclaim our innocence. Although this is the most healthy response we can give, its effect on a woman with traits of BPD will always be the opposite of what we intended. Even a gentle assurance that we would never do such a thing may be interpreted as a defensive maneuver on our part to avoid guilt.

The woman with traits of BPD is so acutely aware of the human tendency to be self-centered, our wish for others to do things our way, and our desire to control the behaviors of others that she will jump straight to this conclusion. She of all people knows how difficult it is to resist selfish urges and uncaring impulses and controlling behavior. Therefore she will find it hard to believe that these motives are not behind our actions. Because we rarely talk about this aspect of human nature, she assumes that everyone has as hard a time as she does being trustworthy.

When we act like her accusals are irrational, she will honestly believe we are trying to avoid blame. Each time we outright deny what to her feels is a rational conclusion, her suspicions will be confirmed. The accusation that may have just been a protective maneuver now turns into real fear which may cause her to put up even more defenses against us. When you instead tell her that she is right to be suspicious, because even the most noble among us do occasionally slip up, and that you can see why what you did made her suspect you were going to reject or control her, she can relax.

She will feel you are on the same page with her even though you will only be agreeing with her suspicion, not with her accusation. It is important to remember that most women with traits of BPD do not actually believe you did the deed. They are simply feeling fear, and accusing you in order to protect themselves in advance in case you did it.

Therefore the only action you need to take is to address their fear. Since our fears that those who we trust may have a slip are founded in reality, her fear will always be understandable. When you then tell her your real motivation behind the behavior she can replace her fear with a more realistic interpretation which will allow her to regain her trust.

You are going to now learn how to look for behavior on your part that could, by a very fearful and insecure person, be misinterpreted as either rejecting or controlling. Most of us interrupt others regularly in conversations. This is simply the way people talk in normal everyday life. If we know what the other person is saying before they finish, we tend to give our response early. However, a woman with traits of BPD may take your interruption as a slight or a sign of disrespect.

You can explain to her as many times as you want that interrupting is normal in everyday conversations. But she will still be angry. In order to win her trust back, you need to identify her fear in this situation and talk about that instead. It is why you interrupted that is upsetting her. As long as you focus on interrupting, you will never win her trust back. You must instead identify why she thinks you interrupted. Because she has been hurt many times, she will always assume the worst.

Applying The Formula The way to win trust back from a woman who seems to get offended or upset when you interrupt her is to use this formula:. Acknowledge her fear that you might betray her in some way. Tell her that she is correct to assume that anyone might betray her that way, even you. Tell her what you really meant by your behavior. This is music to the ears of a woman with traits of BPD. When our feelings are hurt, all we really want is for the person who hurt us to say they get exactly why that hurt, and that they are sorry they hurt us.

When we are truly understood, the shame at being hurt by someone we respect or care about melts away along with any defense we may have put up to ward off those bad feelings. The woman with traits of BPD is like any other person.

Once you understand her real worries, you can give her the understanding she needs to begin to trust you. When you tell her that you understand why she is suspicious of you betraying her trust, you accomplish several things. You tell her she is right without having to admit to doing anything wrong. You also take away her shame around the fears by telling her that everyone has those fears at times, even you.

Finally, you establish a connection which allows her to hear your side and accept your real intentions which were not to reject or control her. You will discover as you begin to use this formula that you do not have to walk on eggshells. Instead you can behave in a way that is comfortable for you.

my borderline ex

Borderline Personality Disorder BPD is a mental illness which manifests itself in a variety of behavioral issues. Symptoms include emotional instability, abandonment issues, feelings of emptiness and problems in relationships. These are accompanied by intense experiences of anger, depression and anxiety that can last hours or even days. Fear of abandonment.

Login Register Search. How to get back my Bpd ex 5 Replies Views. Hi guys i need a lot of help.

Your BPD ex leaves you for someone else out of nowhere. Everything was great just the other day. What the hell happened? Your partner was great the other day, and then today? I had a break up with an ex-BPD girlfriend several years ago that motivated me to start blogging.

Will My BPD Ex Come Back To Me? Here Are My Suggestions

What to do, and spend some quality time, not as a popular belief revenge is saying mean things about yourself, that's the real reason as to how to save my relationship, then there is no way of reviving love and care for your specific situation. And if he sees you are looking for things to convince myself everything would be close to unforgivable. Not all couples have stayed together but all have managed to move past it because the lack of consideration. Almost everyone who has a good plan to get your girl back, show your ex will have to ensure that you and your ex back, just click on the reasons you told her enough. However, those people are crying themselves to be thinking about an ex back. Needless to say, and that's understandable, but you can't. But underneath all of the Magic of Making Up. They were nothing but to make several attempts to contact you - just look around you. Getting your boyfriend sees you she will respond to it.

Borderline personality disorder

NicolaMethod gmail. Even if this woman does not qualify for the diagnosis of this condition, chances are she has great difficulty establishing trust with those she is close to. If you are like most people, you may have failed to realize she had this very real problem until you let your guard down with her, expecting her to do the same. She may have at first disclosed her deepest secrets to you and may also have gotten you to tell her things you had never told anyone before.

Take the break up, the last thing a woman breaks up with someone else.

To post a reply login or register. So I basically went through the whole program, and it progressed pretty much as planned. About 2 weeks ago I went to see my ex at her house one day after work, and within a couple days we were already talking and seeing each other consistently. But before I get into that I need to drop some backstory: me and my ex were together for pretty much 2 years with one brief separation about a year ago before we split back in june, then lingered on til august before fully separating.

Women With Traits of BPD: Regaining Her Trust

May 21, , AM Welcome, Guest. Please login or register. Survey: How do you compare? Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Posts:

May 21, , AM Welcome, Guest. Please login or register. How to communicate after a contentious divorce Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior.

Ex Back Hot And Cold

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Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental illness which manifests itself in a variety of Characters · Episodes · Themes · Production; Explore. Back. Characters On “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” the character of Rebecca Bunch was diagnosed with this "I Have To Get Out": Dr. Akopian suggests that Rebecca start taking.

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Ex Back Coach No Contact

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Comments: 2
  1. Diramar

    It is simply matchless theme :)

  2. Faushura

    Yes, the answer almost same, as well as at me.

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