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How to get closer with friends

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Last updated on February 12, Scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have designed a method where 2 strangers were able to become close friends in less than 60 minutes. What researchers call the Fast Friends procedure 1 will not only help you build deep relationships quickly, it also helps you know what to say next in a conversation. Professionals such as police, interrogators, and psychologists have learned how to build trust and befriend a stranger rapidly based on these findings.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Guide to Maintaining Friendships

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to become best friends with a guy + tips

How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships

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Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation.

Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health. Lack of social connection may pose as much of a risk as smoking, drinking too much, or leading a sedentary lifestyle. Friends are even tied to longevity. One Swedish study found that, along with physical activity, maintaining a rich network of friends can add significant years to your life. Many of us struggle to meet people and develop quality connections.

Improve your mood. Spending time with happy and positive friends can elevate your mood and boost your outlook. Help you to reach your goals. Reduce your stress and depression. Having an active social life can bolster your immune system and help reduce isolation, a major contributing factor to depression. Support you through tough times. Support you as you age. As you age, retirement, illness, and the death of loved ones can often leave you isolated. Knowing there are people you can turn to for company and support can provide purpose as you age and serve as a buffer against depression, disability, hardship and loss.

Boost your self-worth. Being there for your friends makes you feel needed and adds purpose to your life. Technology has shifted the definition of friendship in recent years. With the click of a button, we can add a friend or make a new connection.

But having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend you can spend time with in person. So make it a priority to stay in touch in the real world, not just online.

A friend is someone you trust and with whom you share a deep level of understanding and communication. A good friend will:. As friendship works both ways, a friend is also someone you feel comfortable supporting and accepting, and someone with whom you share a bond of trust and loyalty. The most important quality in a friendship is the way the relationship makes you feel—not how it looks on paper, how alike you seem on the surface, or what others think.

Ask yourself:. The bottom line: if the friendship feels good, it is good. A good friend does not require you to compromise your values, always agree with them, or disregard your own needs.

If you are introverted or shy , it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself out there socially. Focus on others, not yourself. The key to connecting to other people is by showing interest in them. Pay attention. Switch off your smart phone, avoid other distractions, and make an effort to truly listen to the other person. We all have acquaintances—people we exchange small talk with as we go about our day or trade jokes or insights with online.

Friendship is characterized by intimacy. Start small by sharing something a little bit more personal than you would normally and see how the other person responds. Do they seem interested? Do they reciprocate by disclosing something about themselves?

We tend to make friends with people we cross paths with regularly: people we go to school with, work with, or live close to. The more we see someone, the more likely a friendship is to develop. So look at the places you frequent as you start your search for potential friends. Another big factor in friendship is common interests.

We tend to be drawn to people who are similar, with a shared hobby, cultural background, career path, or kids the same age. Think about activities you enjoy or the causes you care about.

Where can you meet people who share the same interests? When looking to meet new people, try to open yourself up to new experiences. Not everything you try will lead to success but you can always learn from the experience and hopefully have some fun. Volunteering can be a great way to help others while also meeting new people.

Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to regularly practice and develop your social skills. Take a class or join a club to meet people with common interests, such as a book group, dinner club, or sports team. Websites such as Meetup. Walk a dog. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other.

Attend art gallery openings, book readings, lectures, music recitals, or other community events where you can meet people with similar interests. Check with your library or local paper for events near you. Behave like someone new to the area. Cheer on your team. Going to a bar alone can seem intimidating, but if you support a sports team, find out where other fans go to watch the games.

You automatically have a shared interest—your team—which makes it natural to start up a conversation. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections—and you never know where it may lead! Invite a neighbor or work colleague out for a drink or to a movie. Lots of other people feel just as uncomfortable about reaching out and making new friends as you do. Be the one to break the ice.

Your neighbor or colleague will thank you later. Connect with your alumni association. Many colleges have alumni associations that meet regularly. You already have the college experience in common; bringing up old times makes for an easy conversation starter. Some associations also sponsor community service events or workshops where you can meet more people. Track down old friends via social media sites. Carpool to work. Many companies offer carpool programs.

Here are some common obstacles—and how you can overcome them. Developing and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but even with a packed schedule, you can find ways to make the time for friends.

Put it on your calendar. Schedule time for your friends just as you would for errands. Make it automatic with a weekly or monthly standing appointment. Or simply make sure that you never leave a get-together without setting the next date. Mix business and pleasure. Figure out a way to combine your socializing with activities that you have to do anyway. These could include going to the gym, getting a pedicure, or shopping. Errands create an opportunity to spend time together while still being productive.

Group it. Making new friends means putting yourself out there, and that can be scary. But by working with the right therapist, you can explore ways to build trust in existing and future friendships.

For more general insecurities or a fear of rejection, it helps to evaluate your attitude. These fears get in the way of making satisfying connections and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody likes to be rejected, but there are healthy ways to handle it:. Making a new friend is just the beginning of the journey. Friendships take time to form and even more time to deepen, so you need to nurture that new connection. Be the friend that you would like to have.

Treat your friend just as you want them to treat you. Be reliable, thoughtful, trustworthy, and willing to share yourself and your time. Be a good listener.

Be prepared to listen to and support friends just as you want them to listen to and support you.

How to Have Closer Friendships (and Why You Need Them)

I have friends who like to hike, and friends who like to chat over coffee and friends who live far away but whom I talk to a few times a year. But close friends? Not so much. A childhood friend and I had a falling-out, never to be repaired.

Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships.

Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships. Below are some ways to bond with a friend, any friend, so that you guys can get one step closer to calling each other besties. One of the best things about having friends is having someone to celebrate all of the good stuff with.

8 ways to bond with a friend to become even closer

Nobody is a stranger to deep diving into the Facebook rabbit hole. You know the scenario. Maybe the blue light that illuminates our faces as we scroll through feeds and friends is to blame for disrupting our sleep cycle. Being unrested can explain the grogginess and irritability one has. Or it could be something else. What if every like, heart, and reply we give to someone on the internet is actually taking away from our energy for offline friendships? That even means that the late-night hours spent engaging in conversations with strangers online takes away from the energy we have to care for people we actually know offline. According to Dunbar, this is one of the two constraints that determine how many friends we have. Dunbar and other researchers established this by conducting brain scans, finding that the number of friends we have, off and online, is related to the size of our neocortex, the part of the brain that manages relationships. According to data from GlobalWebIndex , people are spending an average of more than two hours a day on social media and messaging in

How to Become Close Friends With Anyone

One of the most important parts of deepening your friendship is learning how to be a good friend by being supportive and handling conflict respectfully when it comes up. Log in Facebook. No account yet? Create an account. We use cookies to make wikiHow great.

The conversation goes something like this:. We may start to feel uncomfortable over time and even avoid seeing people we really like because our words and actions and energy and desires, for that matter!

Join AARP at 1 p. Learn more. By this point in your life, you've got plenty of friends, from the mom you bonded with when your now-grown kids were in kindergarten to the convivial neighbor you met when you moved to your new condo. But how do you maximize the health-enhancing, stress-reducing, fun-increasing potential of your friendships?

10 Ways To Make Your Friendships Closer Than Ever Before

In one of the site's central articles I go over a basic structure for how to make new friends. It focuses on the beginning stages of meeting some people and starting to hang out with them. Some readers say they get stuck at this point. They're okay about finding some new acquaintances, but aren't sure how to take things further than that.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Build Closer Friendships

Like any relationship, friendships take effort and work. As people hurtle toward the peak busyness of middle age, friends—who are usually a lower priority than partners, parents, and children—tend to fall by the wayside. Our increasingly mobile world also strains friendship. In one study that longitudinally followed best-friend pairs, people moved 5. This matters because when people move, their families may come with them, but they leave their friends behind. And even though extended, remote social networks are more accessible than ever for anyone with an internet connection, proximity still makes a difference.

5 Ways to Get Closer to Your Friends

Friends start out at different levels. With some people, we might remain casual friends for a long time, and with others we have the opportunity to become closer. Sometimes friends will bond faster after they experience a shared activity, and other times closeness will happen naturally. The pace at which you bond is partially up to circumstances beyond your control after all, some people just aren't going to click , but you can try to become better friends with someone if you hit it off and want to speed things up. If you only see each other casually for things like your kid's baseball games or the monthly book club , you won't bond as close friends. In order for a meaningful friendship to happen, you have to do things outside of where you first met. A way to make that happen is to ask your potential friend to meet you for coffee or lunch.

Jul 14, - With some people, we might remain casual friends for a long time, and with others we have the opportunity to become closer. Sometimes.

Our society tends to place an emphasis on romantic relationships. We think that just finding that right person will make us happy and fulfilled. But research shows that friends are actually even more important to our psychological welfare. Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness.

Building friendships takes time, and can often be a struggle for those who are introverted or shy. The next step is to forge closer friendships. Be Yourself Sometimes, the last person you want to be is yourself — you feel shy and awkward and completely uninteresting.

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Comments: 1
  1. Mezirn

    I join. So happens. We can communicate on this theme. Here or in PM.

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