How to get over a girl after rejection
The fear of rejection has ruined the dating lives of a lot of men. But when a guy learns how to overcome rejection, then he no longer has to fear it. Instead he can take rejection in stride and simply move on to the next girl that sparks his interest. One of the reasons rejection by a girl hurts so much is because guys take it personally. Furthermore, there are a million reasons why a girl will reject a guy that have nothing to do with him or his approach. For example, here are a few instances of why a girl might reject a guy that have nothing to do with him personally:.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Get Over Rejection
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How to Overcome Rejection
No matter your age, background, skills and wow factor, you're never too old, too beautiful, or too smart to be rejected. Common situations for rejection include love, studies, work, sports, or business.
Overcoming rejection isn't about denying or pretending everything is fine——it's about learning to cope well and move on with living. Then, examine these feelings and put them into perspective. For more strategies from our Counseling co-author for getting over rejection, keep reading! Did this summary help you?
Staying Strong. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1 of Understand that your pain is normal. Feeling hurt after rejection is a normal human response with both emotional and physiological causes. Research has shown that experiencing unexpected rejection actually causes physical symptoms: emotional pain activates the same neurons in your brain as physical pain does. Allow yourself to feel upset. Rejection causes real pain, both emotional and often physical.
This is far from the truth, however. People who repress their emotions rather than allow themselves to experience them actually have more difficulty resolving their problems, and may also continue to create situations where they experience negative feelings.
Express your feelings. Cry if you feel like it. Crying can actually reduce feelings of anxiety, nervousness, and irritability. So yes, real men and women do cry -- and should. Research suggests that even expressing anger through aggression towards an inanimate object, such as a pillow, can actually heighten your feelings of anger.
However, try to stay away from extremely sad or angry things, as these can actually make you feel worse. Examine your feelings. Were you disappointed that someone else was picked for the team rather than you? Did you feel unworthy because your job application was turned down??
Thinking through your feelings will help you understand how to address them. This is not about picking yourself apart; it's about making a sensible analysis of what you might wish to do differently next time. Whatever the reasons you find——such as avoiding people who are overly narcissistic, getting your essays turned in on time or training harder——these can give you a practical platform to work from rather than staying focused on the act of rejection itself.
Stick to the facts. However, as you examine your feelings and thoughts, try to keep your statements as factual as possible. Rejection actually temporarily lowers your IQ. Avoid lashing out at others. This response can be a way to try to reassert control or demand that others pay attention to them. Take some ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Believe it or not, research indicates that emotional hurt runs along many of the same pathways as physical hurt.
Because of this, taking a normal dose of over-the-counter painkillers such as Advil or Tylenol for three weeks has been shown to reduce the lingering effects of emotional pain from rejection. You want to treat your pain, not start an addiction.
Stay healthy. Eat good food and exercise regularly. Hang out with friends. Feeling a loss of connection is one of the big side-effects of rejection. Connect with people who love and support you. Experiencing emotional acceptance from your friends and family can help you overcome the pain of feeling rejected.
Have fun. Distract yourself from the painful thoughts and find ways to involve yourself in things that help you to feel good. Watch funny shows, listen to parody podcasts, or go to see comedies at the cinema. Laughter can even increase your tolerance of physical pain! Share your feelings of rejection with someone you trust. This person might be your best friend, a sibling, a parent or a therapist.
Tell them what has happened and how it has made you feel. They may tell you about their own experiences of rejection and what they did to cope; this can be helpful for you to learn from.
Part 2 of Practice self-compassion. Rejection can take a serious toll on your self-esteem, leading you to beat yourself up over mistakes or believe that you will never be successful or happy. Practicing self-compassion can help you learn to accept mistakes and failures as part of living, rather than obsessing over them.
Self-kindness means extending the same kindness and understanding to yourself as you would to a loved one. Loving yourself also allows you to be more loving toward others. Common humanity. Recognizing your common humanity means embracing the fact that negative experiences, including rejection, are part of human life and not necessarily due to anything about you. Understanding this can also help you move past rejection, as you realize that rejection really does happen to everyone.
Practicing mindfulness through meditation can help you process your negative emotions without focusing too much on them. Avoid personalizing the rejection. However, learning to avoid personalizing your experiences of rejection will help you take positive lessons from them and feel less emotionally devastated. Catastrophizing takes away the possibility for you to see how you can learn and grow from your experiences -- even the truly negative ones such as rejection.
Make a list of your positive characteristics. Rejection often kicks you right in the gut and the negative voices in your head can grow stronger——if you let them. To counteract the desire to only find what's wrong with yourself, be proactive and write a list of all your great, positive and strong characteristics.
Studies show that when you consciously remind yourself that you are valued and worth loving, you not only are able to overcome rejection better, you develop resilience to later rejection. See rejection for what it is. It is a change in what you hoped for, often an abrupt and undesirable one. But it's also a chance to reorient your pathway to something more productive and more likely to work for you. Although it hurts as you're going through it, rejection can teach you how to develop your strengths and focus your energies productively.
Let time heal. You also have the chance to do some personal growing, which will help you look at things in a different light. It is very hard as you're working through the pain, but over time, you will likely come to realize that what was lost was not meant to be.
Learn something new. Learning something pleasant such as cooking, guitar, or a new language will also boost your mood. You can also consider things like assertiveness training. You may find that learning to be more assertive about what you want and need lessens your chances of being rejected.
Do it all slowly, to avoid overwhelming yourself. If you've decided to overhaul parts of your life, it will be understandable that at times you'll feel like a novice and have all the feelings of inadequacy that accompany that. Try to push through any such feelings though and realize that "beginner's mind" is actually a positive state to be in, as you are receptive to new ways of perceiving everything. Treat yourself. For example, research shows that when you go shopping, you may envision how what you buy will fit into your new life.
Buying an item of clothing that looks great on you or getting a smart new haircut can increase your self-confidence. However, it can be uplifting to allow yourself a treat or two, especially if it helps you to get on your new path to brighter things.
How To Deal With Rejection And Get Over It Fast
I know how awful rejection feels. Maybe you got turned down by someone you really wanted to be with. Maybe you just went through an awful breakup. Maybe the person you love cheated on you.
Rejection isn't easy, but just because a girl doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Learning to see her as a friend will take some time and work on your part, and it may not be easy. Once you get through this process, though, you'll realize that instead of losing a romantic partner, you actually have gained a friend and that this friendship can have a positive impact on your life and hers! John Keegan. Our Expert Agrees: Unfortunately, rejection is something many of us have to face in life.
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Exactly What To Do When You Get Rejected (Gets You More Women)