I feel like my husband doesnt find me attractive
Dead marriages and even deader bedrooms are commonplace these days People get married for a variety of reasons and stay married for many more. Sadly, a lot of those have nothing to do with love and passion. Even marriages that start off great can die after several years. In many cases, the partners fall out of love or stop being attracted to each other. I get asked by men and woman all the time: can you tell me if my husband of wife still loves me? But, this article is for women.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 9 Ways to Handle A Cold And Distant Spouse
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Husband Says He's Not Attracted AnymoreContent:
My husband doesn’t find me sexy. Should I end the marriage?
Like me, these women usually think the problem is either that she married the wrong guy or that her weight, her age, or her post-baby body has made her less beautiful. Something else entirely was going on, and it was a huge relief to finally discover it and get those butt pats and bedroom eyes back.
As you already know, men are not sexually attracted to their mothers. Unfortunately, that was exactly who I had unwittingly become in the early years of our marriage: his mom.
As I kvetched with my friends, we all agreed that we had to treat our husbands like children because they acted like children. One friend told me how she had to inform her husband that there was a big building near their house where he could buy food. Another one had to tell her husband when it was time to get a haircut.
I was also resentful about having to do everything for him. Back in those glory days, I was flirting, laughing at his jokes, smiling at him, thanking him for taking me out, and admiring him. I thought that if I stopped being responsible for everything he would have holey underwear, never go to the doctor, watch too much TV, and let the trash pile up endlessly. I was tempted to tell him why my way was better, but when I did, that just got me back into the dreaded mom role.
So I stopped doing things for him and teaching him how to do them. What are you doing for him that he could be doing for himself? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. One more thing, if you want to hang out with me and lots of other women who care about having amazing relationships, be sure to click here to join my FREE private Facebook group.
I was the perfect wife—until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. The man who wooed me returned. He keeps baiting me to be his mother. Asking me where the keys are and what time he needs to be places. He seems to want a mother…. Esther, Good for you for not biting the bait! Sometimes it takes a while for the new way to feel comfortable, and he may just be looking for the old routine, which is human nature.
Unless he is suffering from early dementia or another neurological issue. I forget things all the time, and lose my keys. After some years of this, an MRI has revealed brainstem damage and some other neurological problems. Dementia is not so uncommon and does sometimes creep up slowly. I have been married almost 34 years. My husband and I enjoyed a great sex life until recently.
He announced he is no longer sexually attracted to me. I am devastated. I am to fly attracted to my husband but have been told we will never be having sex again. I feel forever is a long time and maybe there is hope. We were separated for 14 months but back together for a year. He left because he said nothing makes him happy. He always came around and we spent time together. We went to counseling for 5 months. So I never bring it up.
I try to be happy,do my own things and not engage in negativity. Now once again,he has stated he is not a happy person,but he loves me and wants to stay married. He also,said he doesnt want to have sex with anyone else. Maybe a mid life crisis as everything seems to be just blah for him.
I asked him to go to the Dr. They were normal. I am at a loss.. He is a workoholic,always has been, so it has been difficult to implement any thing to improve things. He always seems angry at me. However,when he talks to others he is friendly. I am scared my marriage is doomed. I want to do anything I can. Can one person fix a marriage when it seems hopeless? You too can attract your husband back.
My husband calls and asks me to make his appointments because he is used to his mother doing it for him. I am a stay at home mom and he is a forester who works in the woods and not at a desk in an office. I feel like it is a request and it helps him out and saves him time. Do I just say no to his request for help? But if all is well and intimate and passionate at your house, then I say carry on the good work you have begun.
What if my husband is the opposite? He wants me to take care of him…pay the bills, put his laundry in his drawers, etc. However it gets harder all the time. Recently I realized that he acts toward me like a roommate or sister.
I should have also included that we were never really lovers in the natural sense. It was very forced on his part, even early on during dating.
Once we married it went downhill and became nonexistent. After months of being rejected and dealing with his anger toward being married at all at least it seemed that way I asked him why. Definitely has made me feel that he married me for a lot of wrong reasons. I wonder what would happen if you focused on the one person you have control over: Yourself. Analyzing him will never get you there. Great article. Thank you. Sorry to say I was not familiar with your work until I googled this topic tonight.
I will definitely be getting one of your books. Your advice is so right on, except in my opinion to this girl. It sounds to me like her husband has some severe mental blocks and trauma that he really needs therapy for if their marriage is to ever last. It sounds like he even might be an unaware homosexual due to his disgust with women.
I suppose by telling her to focus on herself, you are helping her to find her own happiness and she will gravitate to the truths of the relationship and end up doing what is best for her in the end.
I get that my approach seems counterintuitive and flies in the face of conventional wisdom. I acknowledge you for being so open-minded. I love the way you express how you already see the power of focusing on yourself. He is a grown man. He is just so exhausted from his job and his medical issues. Right on!! You are so right on!!!! For nearly 36 years I have done the laundry and I fold his clothes, put them away, iron shirts and put them in his closet.
Is my perception incorrect? Colleen, Only you know what fits in your situation, as you are the expert on your own life. And if the passion and affection are high, then no need to fix anything, right?
It sounds like you have a division of labor that includes you supporting him with laundry. Laura, I think your writing only gets better and better. You are so gifted. I love how you write! I appreciate your vulnerability in your many failures- such makes you so impressively magnetic and inspires me to continue to review how I can change and evolve and better myself and my marriage.
Thank you for these efforts you make and investments in us of all these great blogs. My problem seems to be the opposite. He wants me to be like his mother. For him, doing these things shows him I care about him. Maybe I should show this article to him!
But you can focus on honoring yourself and making yourself happy.
Signs My Husband Isn’t Attracted To Me
Like me, these women usually think the problem is either that she married the wrong guy or that her weight, her age, or her post-baby body has made her less beautiful. Something else entirely was going on, and it was a huge relief to finally discover it and get those butt pats and bedroom eyes back. As you already know, men are not sexually attracted to their mothers. Unfortunately, that was exactly who I had unwittingly become in the early years of our marriage: his mom.
This guide reveals the most clear-cut signs that your husband is not attracted to you, and offers tips on what to do in this situation. However, before we dive into this advice, I want you to read these next sentences very carefully. This was a worrying pattern which lasted a long time. But, thankfully, I was able to turn this around This psychological trigger has a huge effect on how men feel about the women in their life.
My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me
Even healthy married couples experience a shift in sexual desire after marriage, and throughout their time together. Want To Reconnect? The shift is normal. The fix could be as simple as asking for more kisses, or it could take more work. To help with the process, check out what hundreds of couples have used to get them back on track with the Reconnection Program. Just like lying that goes unchecked can grow like a cancerous cell , a marriage with an explosive partner can hurt the marital longevity too. A man can get sexually aroused just by looking at someone, whereas women typically need something else to get them turned on. The only solution is to begin communicating. What Do I Do? As time goes on, most couples find their rhythm.
Signs My Husband Isn’t Attracted To Me: The Honest Answers!
He has his space with the door closed, and when I enter he guards his laptop and phone. It has been years since we were intimate, even though I have tried to keep him interested, but after a quick cuddle he would roll over defensively and not be turned on. We enjoyed an active sex life in our 20s and 30s and I miss it. I used to blame the mutual exhaustion of parenting, but after being rejected again and again, I have stopped trying, and accept that he no longer regards me sexually.
.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: What Kills A Man's Attraction For You (NEVER Do This!)